jessica

May 03

I hate it when people bully other people. Strangers bullying strangers. Kids bullying kids. Older people bullying younger people. Younger people bullying older people. Families bullying neighbours. Families bullying each other.

And its the last one I have a current problem with. She’s my cousin. She also ended up being my manager. I know how people say “don’t ever work for/with family”. I never believed it, until I worked with/for my cousin.

In the beginning everything was fantastic. She was always the one I looked up to. Ever since I was a little kid I always looked up to because she was my cool older cousin. Then everything turned to shit. She started treating me terribly. Started siding with this other guy who for some unknown reason disliked me. The guy didn’t even know me!

Long story short, I ended up losing my job. And my cousin turned into this mega bitch. I don’t even know where this person came from! I don’t speak to her anymore. My family don’t speak to her anymore. She’s gone off the rails. It’s not pretty. I wish I was able to help her in some way. I don’t know what her issue is. I’ve tried to help her. I don’t know what else to do. She’s seen psychiatrists, she’s on meds. But nothing is really happening. I still love her because she’s my cousin and she’s family, and I worry about her constantly, but I just don’t care anymore in a weird way. I’ve given her my time, my efforts, my thoughts. I’ve listened when she’s spoken about anything and everything.

But we don’t talk anymore. And that saddens me. Maybe some day we’ll talk again and be able to work out why she did what she did. Because I still don’t know what happened.

Goodnight one and all.

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

My favourite inanimate object would probably have to be my bed. That thing takes me into itself every night and welcomes me and loves me and is always sad whenever I leave it. I effing LOVE my bed!

Oct 05

I like to think that Hedwig didn’t die. She only got injured,and is currently looking for Harry.

softspokensparrow:

I’m coming Harry..!!


(via harrypotterconfessions)

its so true it makes me cry :’(

its so true it makes me cry :’(

(via b3each-vans-summertans)

(via satanic-pleasure)

Sep 28

To the world you are one person, but to one person you are the world.

So I havent really gotten the hang of tumblr yet, but I figure I may as well write a little about how I hated the month of August. And not just a little “ill get over it soon” kind of hate. A fiery passionate hate. The kind the darkness feeds on. But besides that there’s a hell of a lot of sorrow too. The crippling, soul destroying, break you to the floor kind. Think you’ve had worse? Try two deaths and a breakup in the space of three weeks.

So the month started off with me really looking forward to celebrating my best friends 21st. But as the day drew nearer I was being informed that my grandad, from my mum’s side, was dying. Moreso than I originally knew. Then, on the day of my best friends birthday, I find out he had passed. It broke me. I tried so hard to be strong and brave, especially for my mum, but it didnt happen. So we booked flights and I told work that we would be flying to Sydney for the funeral. I was there for a week. The night before we’re due to leave I get a phonecall from Krystina informing me that another best friend who battled Cystic Fibrosis her whole life, was dying. Even though she had been given a second chance with a new set of lungs. I had two days with her when I returned home. I had to say my goodbye’s on the last day. I didnt want to, but I knew I had to. I never said goodbye. I only said “I’ll see you later, I promise”.

Two days later I get a text from her sister, she had passed away peacefully. I never thought I would recover from this news. It shocked me to my core. She was always a fighter. I always thought that she would fight through. Make it after everything.

But she didnt.

And I dont know how I managed to go on. Being struck down twice in two weeks. I attended her funeral and cried with everyone and hugged everyone. It meant so much to me that there were so many people there to support her. I know its not really my place to feel that, but I did. I’m going to visit her grave when I find out its possible.

Anyway. Three days after the funeral, the guy I was seeing dumped me. For idiotic and hurtful reasons. That he didnt like me and never did and regretted he ever started dating me.

And here I was thinking I couldnt be kicked any more. Proves I was wrong. I’m still struggling to be myself again. I’ll get there eventually I hope. And I know that I’ll always have them watching over me. And I’ll always have my friends with me.

And I thank god every day for the love and support of my family and friends. ♥

“Live. Laugh. Love. Treasure. Friendship”

All I want in life are friends who would rather die by my side than watch my death from the other side.

(Source: joce2n, via b3each-vans-summertans)