softspokensparrow:

I’m coming Harry..!!

its so true it makes me cry :’(

So I havent really gotten the hang of tumblr yet, but I figure I may as well write a little about how I hated the month of August. And not just a little “ill get over it soon” kind of hate. A fiery passionate hate. The kind the darkness feeds on. But besides that there’s a hell of a lot of sorrow too. The crippling, soul destroying, break you to the floor kind. Think you’ve had worse? Try two deaths and a breakup in the space of three weeks.

So the month started off with me really looking forward to celebrating my best friends 21st. But as the day drew nearer I was being informed that my grandad, from my mum’s side, was dying. Moreso than I originally knew. Then, on the day of my best friends birthday, I find out he had passed. It broke me. I tried so hard to be strong and brave, especially for my mum, but it didnt happen. So we booked flights and I told work that we would be flying to Sydney for the funeral. I was there for a week. The night before we’re due to leave I get a phonecall from Krystina informing me that another best friend who battled Cystic Fibrosis her whole life, was dying. Even though she had been given a second chance with a new set of lungs. I had two days with her when I returned home. I had to say my goodbye’s on the last day. I didnt want to, but I knew I had to. I never said goodbye. I only said “I’ll see you later, I promise”.

Two days later I get a text from her sister, she had passed away peacefully. I never thought I would recover from this news. It shocked me to my core. She was always a fighter. I always thought that she would fight through. Make it after everything.

But she didnt.

And I dont know how I managed to go on. Being struck down twice in two weeks. I attended her funeral and cried with everyone and hugged everyone. It meant so much to me that there were so many people there to support her. I know its not really my place to feel that, but I did. I’m going to visit her grave when I find out its possible.

Anyway. Three days after the funeral, the guy I was seeing dumped me. For idiotic and hurtful reasons. That he didnt like me and never did and regretted he ever started dating me.

And here I was thinking I couldnt be kicked any more. Proves I was wrong. I’m still struggling to be myself again. I’ll get there eventually I hope. And I know that I’ll always have them watching over me. And I’ll always have my friends with me.

And I thank god every day for the love and support of my family and friends. ♥

All I want in life are friends who would rather die by my side than watch my death from the other side.